old things...

old things
often lie
in some silent corner
uncared for

old things are
to be forgotten
to be left behind by us
we have to keep pace

old things are
to be come across
once in years
& forgotten again

old things
gather rust
& even if they don’t
they are to be done away with

old things
cannot deserve
our attention
we are busy

of the old things
a few are
antique & immortal
like the ‘monalisa’

but what of those
which are not,
which go gray
and white with time

old memories
old people?

destroyed in love...

tere dil main mere sanso ko panah mil jaye
tere ishq meri jaan fanaa hojaye…..

i think the time is ripe for a review,i went to a theatre after more than a year.. the movie was worth watching in a hall..that’s all I can say….well, none of the films are actually worth the hype that make the market tremble from much before their advent..but I donot regret having dragged the whole lot of six people in the dead of the night …I saw people like me..strict movie buffs…young guys..bloody guys…always ready to shoot out their comments, their quiver never seems to empty.well I happen to like it when such things are done on people who deserve that kind of behaviour ie people who are actually borinng I despise it with all the venom when it is done on women;if it is a sensuous scene at all all I expect people to do is to keep their filthy tounges from whistling…n shut your divine eyes if at all it is that unbearable….but donot make it a travesty…for the sake of the hoi polloi….we still exist….

And yes about the film…kajol had never ever looked so intoxicating…I being a woman give this my stamp without the slightest of green feeling …well she is so enchanting in the first half an hour that no one else on earth has the precision to say that the make up people could have in any ways made her more enchanting…she looks her ever best…for that matter any woman’s best….

amir has those marks of age distinctive on his face now…particularly in the first part….may be he got a face lift in the second part,he manages to have that “I am younger than you think I am” kinda look…and may be I am just used to his acting skills that I can do nothing more than taking it all for granted …I know that is like not giving someone credit for what he is ….but can’t help ….i just cant manage to eulogise the actor for his excellence which according to many others is extinct today….

The story is good…the script must have been better…its fresh…very new….not a bit of plagiarism in it….

But the news for the time is that the film lacks something…somewhere something very vital has been left behind which could have made me kinda satisfied after I saw the whole thing….and the bigger news is that I am gradully turning out to be a very efficient film critic(because I happen to like none of the films these days…absolutely none)..so here is another way to earn the fast bucks …lol…

Good night!!!!

straight from heart...

The worst part of being at NIT rkl(I hope at least a few of u guyz know where on earth NIT rkl is)is the ignominy(I am afraid if I should use that word ,but I am trying to add da boldness factor
to my blogs so that my entries are more of the ME I talk about)of not being in an IIT(read Institue of Infinite Tension).My dear dad still regrets for me not having succumbed to the charms of IIT-JEE and dropped a year at say FIITJEE (read FORGET IITJEE)or the like.And the second worst thing is hoi polloi saying that “We have an NIIT here also in Bhubaneswar(thatz my hometown),what made you go to Rourkela ??”And I have given up explaining that NIT isn’t the NIIT they are talking about.The third pehlu is the LH(ladiez hostel) mess,I warn you the food is so damn tasty that you might chew your fingers up.Everything else about being at NIT rkl is just fine,well, u will know better in the following paras….

The whole of my first semester was eaten up by what the bandiyan out here call BCT(read branch change tension),but I don’t deny I enjoyed all the induction programs for the freshers trying to learn uire maire maire maire alisa baba ho…(the non-official NITR slogan).And of cors I loved the NIT lingo-condensing almost anything those people could lay their hands on—supre for superintendent,repre—for representative,to state the rudimentary onez.I went home for DP(read Durga Pooja),and got pampered for the first and last time by mum,came back dying to go back in Dec.

I saw “colors” , in the second sem ::“the true onez that had kept me waiting for long”.In the Spring and Tek fests I had a real blast.There were moments when I wanted to call mum up and say that “I am relly relly happy,she neen’tworry.”And I meant those words ,seriosly.

Midsems were written with virtual one night stands with my roomie’s notes(shez famous for her sincerety man,wot a gurl!!!).And the started something that I honestly feel now shouldn’t have
started, I was introduced to the WWW(world wide web—read wicked wicked wicked).I still cannot remember who the culprit was who opened my orkut acct—I can’t pardon her.I (and my roomie—epitome of honesty,sincerety and all da good things on earth)became absolute chat addicts(I hav’t recovered yet!!!).But I wont lie you,those days were the happiest in my lyf spanning 18 long years.I couldn’t digest it when I found myself squeezing out time to wind up my assignments(ie xerox my roomie’s in2 mine).All my friendz would blurt out “tu net kar rahi hai?? wot a surprise yaar!”

And of course there were Prof DG Sahoo-hez a joke personified, all you guyz should go to this guyfrom the maths dept. for english tuitions(specially pronunciation) people do what not with this kind gentleman—open fake ids ,orkut accnts etc etc;and along with him the mecahnics teacher—his yellowed notes and antique style of teaching taught me to sleep with eyes wide open,more than the mechanics he taught.

And finally when we got our summer hols,may be my eagerness for home had mellowed,I wanted lyf to remain as it was –kewl and free…

These two and a half months are stretching a bit too long,and I am dying to get back to axon at dear NIT rkl…

broken wings...

I am caged,
and I don’t want it to be this way
my wings are broken,
and I don’t want it to be this way

beyond the last blue mountain
is where
the heart longs to fly,
and see

the heart wants to
sink into an abyss
and reach the infinite
and be where

the waves of time
are as tranquil
as the
stillness of the cosmos

where there is
no pain,
and I am
at peace with myself.

letter of love...

Dear Moon,
U r no uncle to me, u r a friend, (a distant one though,still)a close one.I dunno
if u r a man or a woman and I will never try to find that out.

U have existed for me since the day I began calling myself an adolescent.As a mute witness, you know all about my wishful thinking, my joys,my tears,my endless efforts to be my own friend.Gazing at me from behind the coconut,u have infered every word of what I hava scribbled on the leaves of my diary,ransacking this place for an identity;distraught-trying to step outta the shadow of ‘my folks’.All my romances have begun and ended with u ,dahling!

I donot remember how old was I when I got up,in the dead of a full moon-night.to discover all your light filtering through the rusty iron railing and overflowing outta my bed.I can’t forget that oment till I die.That gesture of yours cemented our relationship.

Moon ,u have never solved my problems.Ah!-but there is no denying that u have consoled me,wiped out my tears for the time I spent beside u.U have been there when I needed a friend ,the most and that is why I love You….
(Dated for ever)

if u r here...

if u r reading my blog,u are making sure that you are different....just kidding....neways pls make sure that u comment on it...my id is durgesh_nandini87@yahoo.co.in...

i shall be noone's love

i shall be noone’s love…
noone’s stealer of sleep…
noone’s object of desire…
noone’s goddess

for there are many loves,
but one heart,just one…
and it’s a real pain
to break apart

i shall seek no rescue,
no refuge from these
rains of life,no shoulders
to fall back on,no lover

for when my heart bleeded
i have not had him near
and he left for…
greener pastures

and so love is but
a difficult thing,
a burden….that my soul
can’t carry anymore

and so
i will rather be
my bundle of joy,
the lone traveller i am,

I shall be noone’s love


This world is a beautiful thing.And Rain adds to its beauty…

Here,it rained for the first time this Sunday afternoon.For many it would have meant a spoilsport,drenching their plans to freak out.For a lone traveller like me,the first Rain brings back color,makes life all the more picturesque…

Amongst the many regrets I have about my life so far,one is never having Rain-danced.All I have done is heard the Rain,the virile wet winds grazing the other side of my window pane,knocking and asking to be let in…

I have never had the guts to defy the boundaries of the snug four walled structure people call home.And so I have deprived myself of witnessing nature at her best.Such things compell me to muse…it must be wonderfull to let the Rain sanctify you…Ah Rain….

Thunderstorms are even better.Every spark of lightening splits the pitch black sky into as many parts…and inspires the morone romance in our very own Bollywood flicks.

But of course,I have faced the aftermath of rain,who hasn’t?Puddles of unknown depth,slime ,mud and mosquitoes…my beloved Rain brings with it hordes of other less wanted things.

Nevertheless ,everytime it rains,I realise one thing is for sure…Time wouldn’t tick without Rain….

My Tryst With Sai....

It was a sultry Sunday afternoon. I had been home for over a month now…and had done nothing except
for brooding and devouring a good number of books,my brother had stolen my diary and was threatening
to show it to dad unless I did his school project to add my pile of worries….so I was kinda dragging my life
along.i simply blurt out to papa,”why not let’s go out somewhere today?” who just seemed up from somet-
hing he called a “short” afternoon nap.”Where?”.Well, I think I am better off explaining it to the people w-
ho are going through my blog that my dad supposes that I m still a kid and replies affirmative to every proposal
I give and I assume every yes of his as a big NO!!! I had to name a place,and I heard myself saying”the Sai temple
there”.i was sure I will be able to pull him to the shopping mall after that….

Now I said so without slightest intention with which people visit temples…my cousin and his wife were regular
people there and I remember him having said that the place was in the outskirts of the city and he had discovered
peace there(I should mention it that he is the most unpeaceful of people around ,always messing up with
the simplest things in life…) I concluded that it was worth a visit for the peace factor and would help me do away
with my brooding,atleast..though I was never an ardent devotee of Sai Baba(with honest apologies to all the believers around)….almost half of my maternal side was brimming with the stories of his miracles…and as such I had
no problems with Him as I was well aware that He did good to people…

So we all got ready and dad drove us away ,away from the milling crowd,into the tranquil moonlit dusk
that shrouded the city….the best I had seen for days….the air was cool as it is often with the advent of the
monsoon….and finally we were there…should I mention that my dear bhai was again reluctant to budge
as that meant untying the lace of his shoes and stuff….

The place had an idiosyncratic smell of its own..that of bibhuti(holy ash)….the temple was like any of the modern
day ones….floored with mirror like marble….clean without a blemish…and I got the first signs of the peace which my
cousin had talked about.

I entered.Alas!!! I was taken aback…in front of me sat the image of Shirdi Sai ….and I had expected Satya Sai(the former
being the ealier incarnation)….the image sat with a well defined calm,tranquil as it was…my dad discovered
that it was made with a absolute precision

I sat cross legged….and felt like talking to Baba…the common characteristic I look out for in a good friend
and my God is that both have to be patient listeners??hai naa??what say??

So I began talking,my lips wide shut and my senses immune to things going on in my vicinity…I dumped
all my woes ,my fears,my pain to this new found friend of mine….i cun’t feel time slipping away ….
My mum had to shake me outta something people call trance…

And I surprised myself twice…first when I found my eyes wet,and second when I din’t want to leave…
Let all the shopping go to hell….

So that was my tryst with Sai…and believe me people ,I am a believer now…an ardent one that too…

sans you....

every thought of you brings a tear into my eyes,
when memories of you keep strolling in and out
of my helpless heart that cant help but think about
you ...day in and day out
the feel of every word that has escaped your lips
makes me smile ,oblivious of myself and the prying eyes,
you make me miss you the most when i am in a crowd
and even more when i am alone
i am famished for your vision and voice,
i cannot trust myself with my life,
if you arenot close by,i cannot
dare to live without you
i am in love with you,
and like every lover i am short of words to tell you so
but i cannot expect more than something from you,
something people call indifference
nevertheless i shall love you now and always...